Of childhood I remember the cruelty of nature, eggs snatched and fawns left orphaned. My mother seemed more like an animal mother at times, and we were on our own to become strong enough to withstand and survive. All of this was mingled with Catholic and native mysticism, neglect, substance use, and the absence of but hunger for intimacy.
I tried to imitate my peers, get married, plan for a family. I was so busy surviving, I never thought to ask if it was what I really wanted.
So much of what I knew about myself was hunger and thirst for love, of hatred of self and family.
lyrics
Well I went down to the lake to meet you
I walked back when you weren't there
You said that water would hold our love
And you laughed without a care
I believed everything you told me
Great Spirit and the Virgin Mary
But when I offered up our prayer we heard no answer
The Devil's easy to live with when he wears the face of one you love
And you bargain hard against your soul just to get her near enough
You cry into the darkness, you upstage the moon
And you hope without a shadow of a doubt
It'll all be over soon
A fall from the nest, some are taken, some die
But not all-- some fly
I went down to the five and dime to see what you were really after
To see what all the hype was about this "Happily Ever After."
I believed everything you told me, like you quit the bottle and you still loved me so,
Why is it when I look above me, I hear laughter?
I've gone down to the lake to meet you
though I know you won't be home
To hear your ghost inside the sighing pines
And your fingers in the grassy loam
I could drown inside your kisses, I could burn inside your eyes
But when I see your face in my reflection
Why do I despise her?
Why, why can't be wiser than another drunk's lonely daughter,
What keeps bringing me to the water?
A fall from the nest, some are taken, some die
But not all-- some fly
Some fly
Some fly
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